Interview About Fat Lib Therapy
The following is an interview I did in the beginning of 2020 that was never published. I was talking with a fellow therapist who wanted to explore fat liberation focused therapy. Every answer to these questions could be their own multi-page essay, so my responses here are a brief introduction to my therapy framework and philosophy.
In your experience (personal and/or professional), what causes people to become disconnected from the sensations of the body?
There are many daily experiences that take us out of our bodies. Our society is not built to support embodiment, frankly. So, it can be a daily tension between the external demands and our embodiment. Of course things like trauma, shame, racism, and violence disconnect us from our bodies. But it can also be small things like dismissing our feelings. I think there are many cultural and even religious messaging around “mind over matter” that explicitly put our intellect ahead of our bodies.
What signs indicate to you that a client is having difficulty being present in their body?
Often during the first session or two, I’ll ask a client to tune into how it’s feeling in their body after sharing an emotional story. Sometimes, the client is able to feel sensations physically but often they feel nothing. They can feel numb. Other signs can be difficulty feeling hunger or fullness, ignoring or dismissing chronic pain, and talking yourself out of following through with body cues (like pretending they don’t have to pee when they really do!).
What impact has it had on your life (or have you seen it have on your clients’ lives) to be habitually disconnected from bodily experiences?
Our emotional feelings are often experienced in or connected to physical sensations. So when folks are disconnected from their bodies, they can become disconnected from their feelings. I think there can be a function this disconnection can serve- like we disconnect because it feels safer to do so. I would even say that we disconnect from our bodies because we are taught to do so. However, clients (typically) come to therapy because they want to engage in life more fully. This disconnection from the body and from emotions shows up often for folks dealing with disordered eating- it can be hard or even impossible to perceive hunger or satiety cues, or feel into how certain foods make us feel. I also see a lot of clients who end up pushing themselves past their limits and ignoring cues that would otherwise tell them a situation isn’t safe. For instance, I see folks who stay in toxic relationships for longer than they’d like partially because they are able to disconnect from how bad this relationship makes them feel.
In your experience (personal and/or professional), how has the ability to be embodied helped or hindered the healing process when someone is healing from: An Eating Disorder? Trauma? Addiction?
Becoming more embodied helps us be more present in our experiences. Our bodies are always giving us information about our safety, our emotions, our needs and wants. How can we befriend this body so we’re more in tune with its information and wisdom? So, if a client is healing from disordered eating, it’s important to build a relationship with the body. Additionally, with trauma, the body is a great tool to work with safety needs. For instance, a client can use breathing exercises to give their nervous system signs of safety during conflict with their romantic partner, instead of going into flight, fight, freeze, or fawn mode.
Often eating disorders, trauma, and addictions make it painful or scary to be present. So I do caution folks dealing with these issues to go slow with the body, go tenderly with rebuilding the connection. This process will probably bring up a lot of emotions they have been trying not to feel. So go tenderly. Use the body to help feel the feelings as well as help soothe and comfort you.
In your experience (personal and/or professional), how has the ability to be embodied helped or hindered the healing process when someone is healing from the effects of collective/ systemic trauma? · Racism · Fatphobia · Transphobia · Homophobia · Ableism · Sexism
Sonia Renee Taylor talks about “body terrorism”- how all these systems of oppression are directed at sites of the body. They’re all about the body. And they all take us out of our bodies, they all aim to disconnect us. We can strongly be in resistance to “body fascism” by intentionally being in our bodies, centering our physical needs, and loving these bodies. This is how I view therapy as a political act- therapy can help you connect with your body, which in turn pushes back against white supremacy and systems of oppression.
[Added in 2023: I also recommend the work of Resmaa Menakem, Dr. Caleb Luna, Dr. Sabrina Strings, and many others who highlight the interconnections between these forms of oppression. White Supremacy is the root of these oppressions and it’s important to bring this lens into the therapy room. Using the body as a tool of dismantling white supremacy, no matter the client’s race, is powerful and necessary. Using my body in the therapy room is also necessary.]
What helps you feel present in your body?
I find movement helps me, since I’m one of those people that can’t sit still! I love to stretch every morning. I find being in nature can help me connect with my body. But it can also be simple things, like having hot tea and feeling the way it warms my entire torso. Or putting on lotion and really feeling how my skin feels to be touched. Sometimes I’ll just sit and literally hold my belly, feeling its softness, its weight, and its warmth.
What have you found helpful for facilitating safety for others to reconnect with their bodies?
When I’m in a session with a client, my fatness is in the room with us. My body is here too. So for folks dealing with body image issues or folks that feel judgmental of their body size, well, my fat is facing them directly. They get to see me wear clothes that show a visible belly line and my double chin. Just like we talk about diversifying your Instagram feed so you become accustomed to larger bodies, my body in the room helps clients see a body that may look like theirs reflected back to them. I also use humor along with brief intuitive movement. I often ask clients how we can bring more play into the work, how can we soften and be a little silly?
